Trigger Not Happy

 It's those times in life when you go in with the best intentions, yet come out with a low sense of satisfaction that truly school us. If we got our point across perfectly and directly each and every time, how would we know how to adjust our sails and find new avenues of thought that may soothe us later on?
  I opened my mouth calmly and with the sole purpose of creating a win/win situation. The only problem was that I hit the trigger button of the listener and it all went south. I felt it as it was happening and I could not get a harness on it to save my life. 
  When people are in an emotional and distraught state of mind, their words change as does their focal point. From my experience, people even bring new and even more negative energy into a well oiled argument when given the window of opportunity. 
   My blood boiled with frustration, however, I could not let this being push me to the edge. I was them and they were me right? Would I want to be screamed at in this fashion? The answer is absolutely no. 
   There was a third party there. He remained quiet, yet his frustration and maybe even embarrassment was clear. He was related to this being and I could tell that this was not playing well with him either. Then it happened, he screamed out at the top of his lungs and we all got quiet. He too had hit his edge and he was not even talking most of the conversation. 
     My inner voice told me to be the quieter person in this exchange no matter what. I heeded its advice to the letter. Was there a lesson in this for me or was there a lesson in this for both of us? In the end, she stopped talking completely as I rendered my closing remarks. I was not on trial, yet somehowI felt as though I was just cremated by the prosecution. 
     I walked slowly down the street as my heart beat rapidly and I attempted to process what had just transpired. It was over, yet somehow there was a lingering quality to that moment. I always ask myself if I had it to do over again, would I have done or said the exact same thing when I am unhappy with a particular outcome? In this situation, I would have changed very little. 
     In closing, I believe that sometimes the magic happens in the blank spaces when we choose not to defend ourselves or drive home our point. If we just let the other person empty out all of their ammunition, then we can just process things on our own terms and on our own time. I dodged a serious heart seeking missile. Not one person on this earth is worth loosing your cool for at any time. So when they open the door and invite you in, pivot and walk in another direction. Thank you for being here.



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