Tonality Transfer

  I was deep in a conversation and I could feel it slipping away. I was being heard and I was hearing the person who was talking on the other line, however, one thing made the exchange a bit challenging. This thing is the one thing that can turn any conversation on its side immediately, the tonality. We all have been there and we will all most likely have a few run ins with this little snag in the future. In my heart of hearts, I truly believe that every human being starts from a place of good intention. It's just that when one side delivers a questionable tone, someone has to take responsibility.

   This transfer began with a text. If I have said this once, I have said it 4000 times, there are no inflections in a text. Wherever you are when you read the text is how you receive it. I have learned this time and time again. i also realized later on that when I wrote the letters"asap", they came out in capitals without me realizing it at all. I believe that this may have lit the fire just a little bit. The savior in this whole thing is when you have the opportunity to speak to the person shortly after. If you need to clear it up or you feel that you may have been taken wrong, I find that its best to make it right.

    I remember when I was in China, the Taiwanese speak in all of these interesting tones. The difference in your tone could mean an entirely different word. Talk about making someone upset. You could get yourself into some really hot water if you are not careful. Funny enough, I never had a problem because each person that I came into contact with wanted to speak with me in English. I got away clean with no issues at all. I am still so very interested in learning that language, and I will before I leave this world as we know it. My apologies, I digress.

    Our conversation went well for the most part, even though the person on the other end felt that I was speaking in an aggressive manor at the beginning of the call. I was walking outside in the rain and I was  definitely speaking louder and it could have been misconstrued as a bit aggressive in hindsight. My intention was no where near the actual delivery. We cleared it up and we moved forward. I felt so relieved and we both apologized for any confusion. The rest of the conversation was cohesive and full of love and respect.

    On top of this tonality glitch, there is the actual meaning behind why we say what we say as well. I remember many years ago I was on a date with a woman who was from Morocco I believe. During our conversation after she told me where she was from, I commented that women from Morocco are so exotic in my opinion. Well to cut to the point, she was offended by that sentence. She didn't tell me during that moment, she waited to say in in a semi scathing letter the next day. I cannot tell you how confused I was that this lovely, warm, and intelligent woman was offended by what I said and chose not to see me ever again. Was it my tone? No, it was my words and that changed the entire vibration. Her internal definition and/or scars from something that had transpired way before I arrived had bolted the entrance door shut. This is how life works sometimes.

    In closing, how we say things is very important. I am still a daily student of this art form. Each person is so very different, which means that we have to be a bit more patient at times and a bit more aggressive at other times. But not the aggressive that hurts, the aggressive that is not there to damage or demean. I don't believe in walking on eggshells in this life. I do however believe in the fragility of the human spirit and how each heart beats at a completely different rate. Watch your tone, it makes a huge difference. GO TO SLEEP!!!!!! Was that offensive? Just kidding...



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