When You Have Never Been There, So You Don't Know

  I truly believe there is magic in not knowing. Let me be clear, when I say not knowing, I mean when you really do not know what it is like to experience something. If you have never jumped out of an airplane, you won't know until you do it. If you have never walked across the Brooklyn Bridge, you won't know how it feels until you do it. If you have never had the experience of going to buy a car with cash without thinking about the price, you will never know until it happens. I think you get my point. However, this posting is about not knowing how someone feels because you have not gone through what they have gone through. I am about to go in.

   All of our experiences shape us throughout our lives. I am sure that not one person would disagree with this. It gets complicated though when we are faced with another person's demons and we have no idea how to process it. Do we stay quiet and let the vibe take shape? Do we challenge it from our perspective even though we are coming from a different reference point? Do we walk away and not address it at all? What is the correct thing to do in that situation? This is one of those questions that we will probably be navigating for the rest of our time on earth. Why do you ask? Because we are all cut from different silks. We have no idea what we will be up against from day to day.

  Case in point. If you were not loved properly as a child, you could very possibly have a hard time loving others as an adult. On the other hand, you could also become a super loving person just because you decide to over compensate for what you did not receive. The issue here for me is that I have no idea what it is like to have not been loved as a child. I experienced love just about every day of my childhood if my memory serves me correct. So now as I have become an adult, I have an issue with those who are blatantly not coming form a loving place. I guess there are worse things in life to complain about. The thing is, I am not complaining, I am just working to get a handle on it.

   When someone shows up in my life and seems to have a dagger at their side just waiting to cut someone, I take notice and make sure that I am not in harms way. But the fact still remains, you did not see their entire movie, you just showed up and received their current state in all of its glory. It's in this moment that you can either decide to stay on your path or to strap your seat belt into their vehicle and take that ride. I recently had that choice and I decided to stay on my path. I must say though, that even though I continued on my path, I did look over my shoulder a few times just to make sure that I truly had experienced that bump in the road. I was in disbelief and I was relieved all at the same time.

    I am certain that love is at the core of all of this madness. I have a close friend that I feel is continually reaching out for love. The only thing is that they are expecting it almost always in a reciprocal fashion. I love you and so you should love me exactly the same way or you are probably not loving me correctly. This can be a recipe for the destruction of the heart. Once again, if you have never felt as though someone was not loving you correctly, how can you know what to do in that situation? Well, I can say that I have been there and it is a bit challenging for the heart center.

    In closing, love is complicated. I am not a guru on love, I just happen to be willing to express my take on it from many angles. Love is elusive and it does not have any set rules in my experience. How do you know how a person wants to be loved unless they show you? Furthermore, after they show you, can you still carry it out if it goes against your own paradigm? Sometimes we must challenge another person if they speak in a way that is not congruent with our own beliefs. It does not have to be ego based, it can be just based on our soul agenda. If you speak your mind and the other half of the equation decides to fade out, are you in the wrong or are you in sync with who you really are? Just ponder that for a few moments. Thank you for your presence.





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