Craving A Certain Attention

  Let's just jump right into this. We spoke and we discussed many topics. I mostly listened, because I felt my attentiveness would serve him well. Many emotions gushed out without warning and I made note of the ones that I wanted to delve into from my perspective. I felt the pain and the anguish that was still fresh and wildly evident. I could not put myself in his position because he was in a place that I have never been. There was a shift that had taken place in the time that we had not spoken and it concerned me. The thing was, I felt as though I had no suitable words to console him at first. Then out of nowhere, he confided in me and told me that he was craving a certain attention and that is why he did it. What he did to receive a certain attention was not successful, not even a little bit. He told me that it never did the trick in the past and probably never will in the future. This is only one isolated situation. That being said, there is still a lesson in it.

    I thought to myself, how many times did I match myself up with a certain person because I craved a certain attention? I don't have that answer, but the concept is very thought provoking to me. We go through life bumping into different energies all of the time. Some make us dance inside and some make us run far away. Some make us cry and some allow us to breathe easier. Some perplex us to no end, only to find out later that we were never the impetus for that behavior. We were not the cause for  even a second of their imbalance or non communication. All of that time was wasted on thoughts that  hold no value at all. We are all susceptible at one time or another to becoming a slave to what we expect in another human being.

    Now if I am with a person and they are continually setting boundaries or maybe even describing in detail what makes them comfortable, I take note and usually find a way to navigate through it properly without any bruises. On the other hand, I believe we are all here to flow like the river. In other words, there is no need to feel that we are responsible for navigating another person's behavior or feel that our behavior is the fulcrum for another person's well being. This is what I work on daily. I do it silently and I have also had to do it outwardly this year a few times. It's not easy, but it can be extremely freeing.

    If I am constantly hungry and I know that you have lots of food, I may follow you around until you give me some. On the other hand, If I am really hungry and I cannot find you, I will have to find another place to eat won't I? It's all about the forward motion into the most even temporarily comfortable place. Attention generally does not last for a long time at all.  Think of the last thing that you paid attention to solidly in the last week. Was it a person? Was it a movie? Was it an animal? Why did you keep your attention on it and why? Was it lasting? Are you still thinking about it right now? Do you crave it again? What was the seed that was planted that stayed with you? A little food for thought.



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