Electronic Friendship Management / Space

   So here it is. We undoubtedly live in a social media bubble. There are more ways to let the world know what you are doing and who you are doing it with than there ever was in any of the years gone by. There are ways to post things anonymously as well, however, if you do it that way, then you are able to hide. Well, that is not all the way true, but I'll leave that alone. Anyhow, within the walls of these social media navigators, somehow the notion that friendship is a component of it as well. People want you to like their posts and then friend them as well. They also want you to respond quickly and share their posts with others. Lastly, they seem to think that the amount of people that do all of these things will increase their importance on these social media outlets. I am sure that you feel where I may be going with all of this. I will be very clear with my direction, I promise.

    Recently, I chose to delete a person from my database of people. This person is a person that I value in many ways, however, the way and the reason that I value them has nothing to do with social media at all. It is actually the exact opposite. I took them off because I want them to call or maybe even email me. On some level this may seem a bit misleading, but I assure you it is not. Friends do not strengthen online, they do it in person or on the phone. On the other hand,  I just found out that a certain person deleted me from their database of people as well. I thought about it and I asked myself if I was upset by that? Then I realized that it has nothing to do with me at all. I learned quite sometime ago that whatever we feel always comes from us. It could mean that we have not cleared up something that we are struggling with or maybe even that we are fearing facing something. It can also mean that we just do not want to change ourselves for the better by letting some things go and just relax. I can assure you that I have met all of these situations in my life. I am definitely still a major work in progress.

    I asked myself another question shortly after these two things took place. I asked myself how many  people on my grand list of electronic friends do I actually speak with on the phone or see in person? How many of them would actually utter the words, "I would really love to see you soon." Lastly, which one of these people would I actually miss if they were no longer in my life? I am sure that you are not surprised that the numbers were low for all questions. This does not mean that I do not have respect and good reason for having many people in my database, it just means that they are not all my true "friends".This a word that gets tossed around like a Frisbee on the weekend. A friend is always there for you. There may be lots of heavy truths that are hard to handle, however, there are no sustaining judgements or periods of no communication that are completely unexplained. That last sentence leads me to my next topic.

    When there is space, there is an opportunity to rebuild, reevaluate, revamp, and to refresh, that which has fallen into a place of imbalance. It does not make anyone or anything right or wrong, it just allows things to breathe and get their bearings. A few short years ago, I may have been upset at this person for taking me out of their electronic circle, however, I know that its just a sign. What kind of sign, you may ask? A sign that their expectations have not been met. That is one of the biggest things that we all carry around with us, expectations. We all do it on so many levels, until we catch ourselves doing it. Then we realize that its fruitful in the end. If you loved, liked, or even just enjoyed an other's company before, chances are they have not changed that much, but we do. By we I mean you and I. So when we change, then we tend to blame the other side. Actually, some of us don't change, we just discover what we need to work on. When we identify it, we are more relaxed, more in control of our reactions, and even our threshold for love.

     In closing, expectations are everywhere in our lives. We expect the bus to arrive, for our friends to look out for us, for the sun to rise and to set, and for our eyes to open each morning. Unfortunately, none of these things are promised on any day of the week for reasons that are out of control. All we can be is the best that we can be. I thank you for being here. It means the world to me, I promise you.



Popular Posts