Repeat After Me,"I Can't Make It."

  I have touched on this topic before and it comes up all of the time for me no matter what I do. I met up with a friend that I have not seen since maybe 1990. She and I were in high school together and her energy was always solid. A sweet person. An intense person. A woman who looked you straight in the eyes and told you what she felt. Even back then, I knew she had a deep soul and a rich heart. I never forgot her and I always knew that she would reappear or I would find her. I did find her and I am so happy that I did. She is married and has two children and she is so focused on what she is doing right now. My good friend came to NY to complete the first part of a course on self compassion of all things. If that is not beautiful, then I do not know what is. It moved me.
  The first day that she arrived, I missed her. The flight she was scheduled to come in on got delayed and I was at the airport alone. The second time we made an attempt to meet, she needed to wind down easy after her first day and cancelled the meeting. The third time she texts me and asked if I could meet her at the airport to have lunch. In this very moment, I was on my way into the city to do a few things that had to be done. I stopped steps before walking into the train station. I asked myself if I should rush to the airport and see my good friend that I have not seen in over 20 years, or proceed into the city and complete my commitments for the day? After texting her and letting her know that my time was compressed and that it would be tight, she texts, REPEAT AFTER ME, "I CAN"T MAKE IT."

   This was a moment that stopped me cold. Why did this stop me, you might be asking? It was what I needed to hear in that moment. Furthermore, it was what I needed to hear period. I can admit that one of my weaknesses is that I want to say yes way too much. When this happens, I miss out on protecting my sanity by falsely thinking that I am creating more of it. Sacrificing for others or going out on a limb for another person is really a great feeling. However, when you second guess it or don't really want to do it anyway, it's not good not matter what you think. This was not that situation for me. I wanted to have a little bit of time with my long lost friend, so that became paramount. I pushed away my other responsibilities. That is how life works. We have time for what is important to us. If we are doing too much of what we do not want to do, then we do not have time for what we want to do. The other down side is that over time, many people consistently tell themselves that they never have time and can never do anything for themselves. Many times its because we have said yes to the wrong things too many times and have not said no to certain other things enough. A reality check due for us all.

   My friend gave me a lesson in the form of a text. It was a lesson that I knew and needed a reminder on for sure. I could have not gone to see her and my day would have gone as planned. She would have still been my friend that lives far away and we would have just connected again at another time. There was just something that pulled at me and became instantly important. I just knew that I needed to see her face to face and share what had happened in our lives. I met her and she and I loved catching up. Our lives had undergone so many changes and we only had about 2 hours to speak about it. I learned a bit about her course, and she learned about how I am living my life currently. She has the most honest eyes, as she always had before. She spoke thoughtfully and passionately, with so much clarity. We exchanged some gems that we wanted each other to know about online as well as personally. The meeting was worth every second.

    If you cannot make an appointment, just say so. Chances are you will always have a choice to say how you really feel. The question is, will you exercise it? We have all thought about what it would mean to our friends if we say no or if we were not there for them. The bottom line is, if they are our friends, they already know our hearts and our intentions. We have no one to impress by showing up when we do not want to. Period. Live authentically.



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