What Am I Attracting?

 This question is a major league one that cannot be answered with an ounce of non authenticity. Personally, I have been asking myself this for the past 5 years more than ever before. It's a question that demands an answer if you should choose to allow it to enter your mind and soul. I look at my life right now and see all that I have both tangible and intangible. How did I get these things and how did I allow certain emotions and mind sets to take up residence in my system? The truth is an uncontrollable master and a refreshing breath of fresh air all at the same time.

  When we are watching our thoughts carefully, we can really cut out so much garbage. This is an art and it takes years to master. The bruises that we receive along the way are worth it and they can push us higher or drag us way below "see" level. I caught myself a bout two days ago as I was in a conversation with two people that I had never met before. We were at a social gathering and I proceed to tell them about some of my aspirations and so forth. The man is this male female couple, happened to work with a company that I absolutely love. I had no idea that this would happen. About 10 minutes into the exchange, I felt as though I had rubbed him the wrong way. I felt it in my gut. Maybe 5 minutes later, he motioned to his friend that he was going back to get some more food. He did it in a way that let her know that he would like her too come with him. They got up and they never returned.

   After I felt this emotion, I looked over at them and my mind told me that they were discussing me. I created this all by myself. I immediately watched their body language and even a quick glance back at me. I knew that I was speaking authentically and with my normal zest for life. However, it had not reached them in the way that they wanted to receive it. That was not my problem, however, it rubbed me the wrong way. Did I attract that reaction or was I allowing my mind to feed it?

   Then there is the issue of our friends and closest connections. When we walk out into the world, what are we attracting and are we learning from it? A close relative recently told me with warmth and truth in his voice that I tend to attract partners that need help and or savior. I took a deep breath and internalized that comment. All that I could feel was that I come from a family of people who have been reaching out to others for my entire life. So maybe that energy is broadcasting to others when I come into contact with them. I am not in any way ashamed of this. I find it to be one of my best qualities. However, when it is not properly used, it can be a major hindrance because I can lose my direction. I can deny myself of self care. I accept this as an undeniable truth.

   So in closing, I believe that what we attract is real. We cannot deny it or say that it is not what we asked for on any day. The lessons that come from what we attract are deep and rich. I know that I have attracted many things that in turn dropped me on my head and in need of resetting my perspectives and signals. Actually, I was responsible each and every time for how I let it in, how I reacted, and of course how I proceeded from that point forward. I am responsible, for this, that, and yes even that. It's a difficult pill to swallow at times, OK most times. We have to decide, and so shall it be. Dig in and have a day that you want to talk about again and again in the future. Thank you for reading as always.



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