My Adult Perspective

   When I was in my teens, the world was a vast and mysterious place full of many questions and unknowns. Now when I speak to people in my age bracket and even not, I see more things than I could possibly tackle at once. when you are young, as in your actual age, you truly have very little to be responsible for overall. I played and did chores and listened to my parents as they guided me through the rainstorms and the mini wars that I encountered. I remember how I viewed certain things as them just being straight up nuisances. Then I went away to college and it all came into focus as clear as a Zeiss lens on a 15 thousand dollar camera. I was trained well and I was on my own.

     Now I am an adult and life is astronomically different on many fronts. The way that I engage with people is a bit different as well. Actually, I engage with people quite the same, it's just that now I know when to do it differently if I need to. I can see how some energies need not be approached and how others may rub off on you if you linger too long in their space. I see how love is definitely the most powerful thing on earth. There is no amount of pain that can't be healed with the right amount of love. I also see now how people can be raised to think that they are not capable and carry that on through their entire adult lives. If no one reaches in to steer them in a different direction, they can get lost in their own quicksand. By the same token, if they are always told that they can conquer any situation, they usually don't stop trying.

     As I watch mind sets run up against each other each and everyday, I am proud that I have always been exposed to some of the finest minds that any person could ever desire. By that, I mean my parents. How could they have possibly prepared me for all of the responsibility that it takes to be a strong and forward thinking human being? There was nothing that they could have said that would have gotten me ready for all of the diverse scenarios that have made their way into my life. However, they truly gave me the best foundation that I could have ever hoped for. I am not perfect, nor do I wish to be. I am just a glutton for higher learning and a magnet for adventure on all levels. These traits help me to create  exceptional days quite frequently..

     It's the unpreparedness of life that I am falling deeply fascinated with as I mature. Watching what happens when I don't actually know what's going to action.It's the having to say the right thing when the wrong thing shows up. It's the managing of those internal thoughts that do not have to be screened or worked on by anyone but me. It's the second guessing of any one of my abilities at any given time. These are things that truly let me know that I have entered true adulthood. My fathers had full families by the time they were my age. Yet they did not have half of the technology that we have now. Their lives were largely analog and they still knocked it out if the park.

     Being an adult is not something you can get clear tips from a book on. There is not a specific way that you can go about doing it without any scrapes or burns. I also love the fact that some are my age and actually act as though they are half or even a quarter of it. I learn so much from them as well. No one could have explained the pain that can come from the opposite sex when things go wrong. They knew that I had to experience it and when I did, boy was it an eye opener. It ripped my guts out and displayed them all over the table. It made me stronger in so many ways.

     This has been on my mind for the past few weeks. Where I came from, where I am, and also what my future holds for me. So many pivotal moments have shown me what I am made of and how strong or weak I can be. I am receiving the information and it does not discriminate. If you need to get the lesson, it shows up. This is it. I am an adult and my decisions are dictating my life in an eye opening way. I was just a teenager 5 years ago, or so it seems. Throwing a frisbee in the park. Riding the city bus to school. Eating candy with my friends and listening to music. Riding my bicycle around the neighborhood. I am still that child inside. If there was a box for child or adult, I would always check the child one.

      I am an adult and I am proud of it. I miss those other days, however, I would not go back. I was there already and I did what I wanted with that time frame. The now is very interesting, stimulating, confusing at times, and very complicated too. How did I get here so fast though? One day I was there and then in what seemed like a flash of light, I am here. I actually think I am a "Chidult". I am a child first from the inside out for now and forever and an adult because I have these lessons and experiences stored in my master hard drive. They won't ever leave me no matter what I do. I am blessed. I am grateful, I am ready for more experiences. A game of Monopoly sounds good right now. Peace



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