Crash And Learn

  Good day! I am so grateful to have things to write, things to feel, things that keep me in fascination mode. The past few days have presented me with some challenging conversations that have turned into quick pull aways and then immediate ponder sessions. I am so amazed at how the energetic place that we are in can affect others as well as tell us so much about ourselves. We carry around clear and very noticeable signals to anyone that comes into contact with us. It will never be any different for as long as we live.

   Let me introduce you to scenario number one for starters. My very dear friend that I cherish in a very big fashion called me. I had not been able to connect with this person in quite a few days prior to this call. She is always busy to say the very least. The lifestyle that she has chosen keeps her on the go, monitoring many things simultaneously. I was sent a text earlier that day saying that she would be in a meeting for the entire day. This seemed peculiar, yet I accepted it and moved forward. I told her to call me when the moment presented itself. I did in fact receive a cal midday and I was so happy to hear from her.As the call began, my music was too loud so I asked them to hold on while I turned it down. When I returned, I asked if she could hear me and she said yes. Her next sentence was, "Listen I may have to jump off the call in a second," in a very hurried and unsettling fashion. So I replied with, "Sure go ahead, I am listening."My tone was hurried as I now review it in my mind. It was not meant to be coarse at all, however, I am certain now that it was taken that way. I mirrored the energy that I was given and it took a turn that did not serve this interaction at all. My friend didn't say anything for  about 5 seconds or so. The next words out of their mouth were," Listen I am not feeling good about this energy, I am feeling rushed." This threw me because, I was actually feeling rushed seconds before that. I changed my tone slightly and let her know that I was open to the conversation, I just got the impression that she was in such a hurry that I would just be open and ready to listen. Unfortunately, this was not what she friend wanted. She chose to end the call and say that she would call me back. I never received the call and it is two days later now.

   Scenario number two happened last evening. I was visiting a wonderful woman that truly is unique in so many ways. She is wordily and wise and so full of emotion, playfulness, and most of all timeless wisdom. To cut to the chase, ha! I asked her a question about how much she paid for her recreational mind altering tools. That of course is a euphemism for what I was asking her about. I am forever curious about these things, as I am completely free of those things in my system. That does not make me better than anyone on this planet, its just a choice that I have made and have adhered to my entire life thus far. After asking her a few questions, she left the room and I was tending to my cell phone realizing that in that instant, I had missed a call from y mother. When she returned, she was breathing fire, to say the very least. She made the statement that questions create judgement and she didn't appreciate being judged. Well, because judgement was the last thing on my mind in that moment, I was very taken aback. However, I did not see this going well after a few expletives had reared their head so I decided to take my things and exit this space. My words were fees as I walked out of the door, however, I went it to complete review of my words as I went down the elevator from 11 floors up. This morning, I received a call of apology and clarity that made it all better.

   I present these stories because I want to stress the fact that we are all very sensitive. We are sensitive to whats said, not said, inferred, highlighted, and sometimes even reminded of every now and then. We do not have the luxury of a clean slate when we interact with another person. We are all used goods. Some of us wear out scars closer to our exterior than others and some of us hide them way deep down under our organs. Either way you look at it, the soul will always have pieces that if rattled can produce a small fire that can either warm or burn us. From that first scenario, I have chosen to sit and wait for that person to reach out to me, mostly because I have forgiven her and myself and I want her to reach out when she sees fit. I realize that I may have just said the wrong thing, the wrong way, at the wrong time. I "may have", that's the integral part of that sentence. Even if I don't think that I did, I may have.

   Would it be grand if we could get a little message in our pocket or our email box letting us know exactly what happened in situations like that, so that we could have clarity right afterwards in situations like that? A little note that said something like, "She just had a bad break up, or he really doesn't want to be in the space with you, but he can't tell you."On the other hand, we would probably lose our gut feelings and inner jolts that help us so much every day. The lessons just keep on coming.

   An apple a day has been such a joy so far. I feel great and I am drinking tons of water on top of it all. Side note!!!! As I was typing this posting, I got a call from my scenario one situation. She was bubbly and open and offered me a very independent and detailed position with her company. There was nothing said about our call the other day at all. It was as if it had never happened. Maybe its because I have let it go and forgiven her, or maybe its because she had let it go before me? Who knows? In both situations, I thought I had crashed and then I realized that I had actually learned. So good. So freeing to the soul. I am truly blessed.

                                                        Don't quit your day dream…



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