Being A Father
As this is Father's Day and I am so proud of my fathers, yes 2, I could not let this day go by without sharing these sentiments on being a father. I have been thinking about what it means to be a father for my entire life. I have watched others do it and had so many questions inside as I watched them carry out this daunting task, I say daunting, because it seems to carry with it a responsibility that is beyond measure. Imagine a young soul following you around all of the time and just waiting for you to carry out each and every move so that he or she could repeat it as soon as possible? What if you knew that everything you did would be seen by a young impressionable soul that would not question anything. This being would not question anything unless you taught them to question it. They would not smile, unless you smiled. They would not show generosity or love, unless you showed it. They would not go any further in any direction to better their lives, unless you did. That would be an amazing test of our integrity and our day to day choices wouldn't it. Think about that.
What I wrote above is the way that I view the role of the father from day to day. I have two fathers because of 3 magnificent human beings that decided that their friendship and dedication to each other was more important than what could have possibly ripped them apart. The personal story of what and why it happened is not important. The important thing is that I am a grown man with intelligent, strong, loquacious, good looking, insightful, and loving fathers who would go to the wall for me as I would for them. I have never been too crazy for amping up a day just for the sake of a holiday. However, just writing this posting is giving me so much joy for so many reasons. When we write things down, it stimulates our mind in a few ways, especially when we are praising others or expressing love for them. I enjoy this thoroughly, as you can plainly see.
So I spoke with both of my fathers today and asked them some questions. I asked one what was the best advice that you can give a new father or any father in general about how to be a good one. The answer made me once again proud. He said that you have to spend time with your children. Do things with them, hug them, kiss them, show them that you love them constantly, and keep them moving in their minds. My other father told me that you have to love your children more than you love yourself. That was huge for me as well. I didn't have any expectations as to what they would say, but I knew that it would be good. He also so said that you must tell your children the truth no matter what. Well, this advice resonated with me in a very big way. I have nothing but love and respect for both of them and what they have done for me. I was following their lead long before I realized it and it has paid off immensely.
I could not possibly write this without thinking about those who either do not have the luxury of having their fathers in the flesh any more or those women who are doing what they can to be both roles at the same time. In both situations, these individuals push harder and carry around more baggage than we know. They have to be thick skinned beyond belief and they have to do it each and every day. I send them a silent bundle of strength to make the load easier. I do not know their pain exactly, yet at times I can see it on their faces and in their gait as they move through the world. Many of them had fathers that did not stay to see them through themselves, while others had never met their natural fathers at all. If you know someone that does not have a father close to them or even alive, reach out to them and just let them know that you are proud of the person that they are or that if you had met their father, you would have told him what a wonderful person you think they are. Do this only if its what you truly feel. Otherwise, just send them your blessings...
I look forward to being an incredible father in the future. I have been given the tools before I could actually have the sense to ask for them. My children will lead extraordinary lives for certain. Fathers are magic and they pass their template forward so the process can start again. Brilliant.