Please Talk To Me And Starve The Texting

  I am sure that it goes without saying that we all love when we are speaking to someone that we like or love and the conversation goes on for an hour or so and the time is not even an issue. How about when you are on the phone with someone and they have to go, but you have so much more to say and you just love having them on the other end of the line. So you just hope to remember what you were going to say for the next time and you politely hang up with them. We all like to be peacefully engaged with another person on the other line. It's a vacation from life and all of its circumstances. Its a chance for you to be heard one on one and to let your thoughts flow. Its one of life's greatest personal exchanges if it is done with respect.

   So now I will get to the marrow of the bone with this topic. Technology has grabbed us by the throat and many of us have the unfortunate misconception that when we text, we are fully engaging, but we are not. We all have so many things going on in our lives that our cell phones have somehow given us a pass as it relates to interaction with those that we love. The truth of the matter is, when we have time to be on Facebook for an hour, but we cannot call our friends back or make time for them, its reached a level that we should really be concerned. Each text exchange that I have had in the last week or so that has gone more than 5 texts in each direction could have been at least a 4 minute call. The bottom line here is, I miss human contact with my closest friends. The ones out of town don't count because they cannot be here. What's interesting though, is that my friends out of town or out of the country call me more than they text me. The ones that could make time to see me or call me, text me. This does not apply to all of my friends, just enough of them to mention it.

    Are we afraid to engage like we used to? Does anyone remember the days when we had to come home to get our messages on an answering machine or call into it and listen to the messages? we were fully engaged with our friends because there were no distractions around us from any wireless devices. That wasn't too long ago, by the way. When we text too much, we lose all of the inflections and energy  that are connected to those that we care so much about and we have to assume that we know what they mean and so on. We also lose the flow of a fluid exchange that we can get so easily from a nice phone call. Texts save us lots of time in many situations and they also allow us to send images to people that we love and bring them into our world for that one moment and this I love. On the other side of things, texts should not be used to express important things like a break up, a sharp criticism, or even a make up. We owe it to each other to really show up and be heard,

     Some days I honestly wish that we would have a cell phone tower crash that lasts a week or so just to be reintroduced to what its like to be connected to being with each other sans interruptions as well as being forced to using a house phone when home and then noting else for the rest of the evening. The cell phone is slowly killing our connection with each other. I hear people saying that they have to keep the phone on them because there might be an emergency and that they cant miss a call and that they would go crazy without their phone. Well, not once since I have owned a cell phone has anything happened that was so earth shattering and dire while I was engaged in a conversation with a friend over dinner or any other time that was as worthy as our time together. It can happen, however, our time here on earth is so precious and we have to be as careful and grateful for it as we would be if we were stranded on an island with no water for weeks and all of a sudden a big airplane dropped 1000 water bottles out for us to devour.

      Please talk to me. Try to make time to give me some undivided attention and I promise I will give it back to you triple fold. If you have too many things on your plate, clean some things off of it. Sometimes when we tell people that we have been too busy, what we are really saying is, we don't really care enough to make time for them. As I write these words, I am positive that this posting will rub some people the wrong way. But believe me when I tell you, human contact is dwindling quite rapidly. So I ask you a small favor. The next time that you are with a friend or college for lunch or dinner or even a short meet up in the street, give them your full attention. I realized today that I am constantly getting other calls while I am on a call and putting people on hold that I really want to talk to. Tomorrow I will start just finishing the call that I am on and calling people back afterwards. I want to see how long I can keep it up and what a difference it will make. Please talk to me. It means more, it feels better, and it keeps our connection so much stronger, trust me.

      This posting is for everyone that probably wont have the guts to say this in person or even email it. Just cut and paste it and send it to your friends. I am not a master at the things that I have just written, but they concern me immensely, and I will begin to put this all into effect big time, starting tomorrow.. We only have each other right? Those of us who are still here to actually say that know exactly what I mean. Peace my good people.



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