Giving The Space That Is Needed / Thank You For The Kind Gesture

   Life is so multifaceted as it relates to our day to day feelings. There are some people in our lives that we really want to have as close to us as possible. We love them for who they are, what they emit, and most importantly, what their presence in our lives does for our souls. This is a delicate dance at times because we always begin with "our" perspective. How does it make us feel? How should it be? How is it with other people from the past or in the present moment? We can really go deep with all of our questions, assumptions, and misconceptions. I believe that one of the hardest things for us to do in life is to just give the people we love the most the space that is needed. Letting them hit the wall and reach out  for you instead of actually trying to catch the fall before it happens.

   I realized today that one of my most important friends on this planet, thinks that I don't seem to be able to commit to spending time with them. This jarred me and then I realized once again that I have been carrying some past scars from a time when I had let them down completely unintentionally. My word means so much to me when it is given out, so I am very hesitant to give it out if I cannot stand by it 100%. Then I thought it about a bit deeper. Its like saying that you don't want to fall in love because you might get hurt once again. Those who we care for deeply are worth jumping for without the net. Have you ever made plans with someone that you really love spending time with and other things come up, but they have to be cancelled? That feels good, because being with them will be better and you are certain of it..

    We all have our own needs and our own perspectives and that is for sure. Sometimes we are all guilty for thinking that our way is "the" way and that can be scary and also difficult and a bit selfish too. There are many ways to treat human beings and many ways to accept them as well. This has been a lifelong lesson that still goes on and on. I have friends that I have met in different circles and they still pretty much see me as the same person. However, from time to time, a friend comes along that sees something in you that others miss completely. Actually, maybe they don't miss it, maybe it does not resonate with them the same way, so it does not get highlighted. I do believe that we get affected by whats already within us. That has been so hard for me to admit over the years, but I have finally arrived at a place that I can embrace this concept.

     So the lessons of giving space to those that we love and staying true to our word as much as possible are on my mind today. They are the threads that truly galvanize and make our relationships glow. Those whom we love the most, have this power to get inside of us and remind us that we are not doing that thing that validates our friendship with them. They do not really mean to hurt us, they are just sending us a signal. The signals are often misread by all of us and taken as a jab because we are going through our own things as well. There is not one person alive who does not want to be accepted by those that they love and respect.Friendships are work too. The good thing about them though, is that they pay big dividends to the soul after the work is done.

     Today a young man came up to me in a little cafe and he asked if I was the same guy that he had sang with about 2 years ago. I said yes and I gave him, a big hug. We sang together on New Years Eve  that evening and I had given him a mic stand to use. At the end of the night, he tried to give it back to me as he left the car. I told him to keep it and he said thanks and he went on his way. I loved giving that stand to him and it really made me feel good. What I did not realize then, was that he really was blown away by that gesture. It was the first thing that he mentioned after we spoke tonight. He smiled and caught me up with his life and where he was now. That was a magic moment for me because I realized that he had been carrying that with him all of this time and he was so happy to express his appreciation for what I had given to him. As the saying goes, people may not always remember what you said, but they will always remember how you made them feel.



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