A Valentine's Day Ponder





   I cannot tell you how much I love it when love is the focus on any given day. If someone is being celebrated or there is a day that focuses on a colossal and life changing happening that is positive or anything in that category. It is just so much fun to concentrate on love. Now some might say that love is what has hurt them or their current lives, therefore they always choose not to concentrate on it. Well, to them I say, nothing could be further from the truth. But on  the other hand, this is my viewpoint and that is not the end all be all perspective now is it? I am here to merely wet your palette with some thoughts about the importance or non importance of this day.

  Today I woke up a bit unsettled, truth be told. I had a mixture of emotions that were primarily based on mental lies and fear. I am very comfortable with myself and being alone. However, there was a part of me that took a deep sea fishing tour into the concept of what it would have been like to be with another person today. Then out of nowhere I snapped to my senses and yanked myself to my senses. We are complete right now in this very second. Everything else is like a cherry on top of a cake, extra. The media has spent millions dollars to convince us that we should be with that special someone on this evening or day or what have you. Truth be told, I have had times in my life when I was with someone special on this day and it was just the same way that is was when it was not Valentine's day, nice and special. So what is my point here? My point is that if we are not in this moment, then we are not benefiting from all of the gifts around us.  I wrote a song today. I had a great meal today. I saw a breathtakingly beautiful dolphin jump up in the air. I had a great conversation with a woman that I really enjoy speaking with about life in general. I met the wife of a fellow musician friend of mine. I paid a bill on time. These things all happened today and I am grateful for them.

   This day has some sort of hidden meter behind it that demolishes people's spirits if they buy into it too much. There are thousands of women alone right now who feel that they are not worthy of a great partner based on being alone today!! If I am speaking to you and you know it, snap out of it!! You are worthy of a great day and a great life for that matter all by yourself. Watch a great and uplifting program. Make yourself a card (thank you Ms. M). Get a massage. But on your favorite clothes and take yourself out. I can go on for pages with this. I need to address the up side of being with someone on this day as well. If you have an amazing significant other, make it anything but bland if you are going to do it right. By the way, if you do not feel to do anything for this person, then that is a signal as well. But let's stay on the positive side. Did you ever notice that when you are really connected to someone in a true fashion, you don't really expect to much from them? Let me clarify that statement. Basically, what has been proven many times before, is usually trusted without incident. I know that if I go into a Cirque Du Soleil show that I am going to be completely amazed with the talent. I know that if I fly first class, I will be well taken care of each time. I know that if i get behind the wheel of a Mercedes Benz, I will feel like I am on a cloud. You get my point? Nothing material can sustain true love.

   The best relationships that I know are always in a state of bliss because they sustain the good moments rather than accentuating the negative moments. You see, if we had 4 Valentine's days next year, would we feel obliged to recognize all of them for our partners? Put another way, there are very few if any relationships that are "always" in a state of bliss. However, I have seen a select few that have so much happiness that the small stuff never makes it out of the gate to destroy their time together. This day is for lovers, so they say. Take some time to really research the meaning if this holiday and you will be slightly surprised. This day had been highly commercialized and blown out of proportion. We all deserve to be respected and loved each and every day and it always starts with us. I was with my family the other day and I could feel the love without even saying the word or asking them if they loved me. That is real love and there are no conditions or expectations connected to that at all. Its not about a day or a gift, or a time of day.

   When I was last in love, I remember concentrating on ways to express my love. In my opinion, that is when the real love takes flight. Its that moment when you are so engulfed with how you are going to serve him or her that you lose yourself in it. You inherently know that your partner with take care of you and then it happens. So you don't actually lose yourself, you find yourself. Today many people are missing those who they are not with anymore. Others are wishing that they were with other people because they are not happy with whom they are with now. Then are those who are so warm , fuzzy, and content and having a spectacular day as usual with their loving partners. You can fill in the other categories on your own, I know there are others.

   So what does love feel like to you? Have you ever seen it? What is it shaped like? Can it be controlled? Does it make a sound? If you could duplicate it, would it fit within each person's soul the same way? I have never been able to explain love entirely. I do however, feel that the word is overused and under valued. What if you needed a reason to breath or to smile or to be thankful? Those things would hold a very different meaning right now wouldn't they? Luckily, just being here is reason enough. We can affect other human lives by just being here and creating an example. Therefore, we can be in love with ourselves, simply because we have made it this far and done so much, no matter who we are. If we need another to justify that we are loved, then when they go away, we are stranded. That is never the case. Its a very soul damaging perspective to have.

   I thought of those that I have shared love with in the past today and I was so grateful for them. I realized that had it not been for them, I would not know what love was today. I love who I am in many ways and I also love the fact that my dress rehearsal loves have showed me what I will not accept in the future. We deserve overflowing and uncontrollable love. So on this day, let's love ourselves the exact way that we want to be loved weather we are solo or with another. In the end, it always starts with you.

   In closing, I leave you with this story. I bought a pair of sweat pants today. I have a black pair that are at home that have had a hole in each pocket for quite sometime. I could fix the holes in about 20 minutes or less, but I have not strictly because I just have not done it yet. I wear them quite regularly and I just accept that they have holes, however, I cannot carry anything in them or it will fall to the ground. Today when I put the new pair on, I was about to put something in them and I stopped. My memory told me that there were holes in the pants. There was only one problem, these were new pants. That was a huge wake up call for me in so many ways. The biggest lesson though, was that I choose when I create newness, when I am loved, and when its time to patch up the hole in my soul in any way that I choose to. It doesn't matter if I create the new energy from the existing energy or pull myself into a completely new space, its still my choice.

    So if today has you down, get up!!!! You are deserving of better. The story that you are telling yourself originates in you and it will never be any different. Those who enter the gates with the code, were given the code by you. It's just Valentine's Day and tomorrow it will be gone. To all of you lovers out there who are in complete bliss today, I respect you to the tenth power! To those of you who are alone, I respect you as well. In the end its all the same. Self love, self love, self love...I love you all, truly.

                                                                                   Chase
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