Where Is My Voice? / Kundalini Day 5
This day has been one of strong introspection. I did something today that will move me up to another level in due time. I have committed myself to releasing my original music and I have also decided to record it myself in the initial stages. We live in a time that allows musicians, speakers, bloggers, and any other artists to record right from the comfort of their own home and create a product that can almost go right on to the radio if done properly. So I took a trip to my favorite music store and had a conversation with a professional technician that told me exactly what I need to do to achieve my goal of getting these tunes recorded and on their way out across the world. This is a big thing for me. I attempted to do this in the past a few times, however, paralysis of analysis got the best of me. Will it be up to the standards of what is good? Will I be able to send it out to people who matter? Can I release some of my most personal feelings without feeling a little bit cautious? None of these questions matter at all. I know that now. All that matters is doing it and leading by expression.
I sing songs from every genre that you can imagine and I truly do love it. The downside of that sentence is the fact that my voice will never get properly exposed singing other people's songs. Throughout the history of music, there have been many singers young and old who have made an entire career out of singing songs that were written by other composers. My opinion on that is that they undoubtedly chose that path and it worked for them. I respect them for their excellence and many of them have inspired me beyond words. The thing that moves me though, is that they all did it with their own voice. Many of them have crossed over musical genres as smoothly as a bird in the sky. So at this point, I will begin to expose my voice and allow it to inspire whomever resonates with it. My songs come from my life and my experiences as good songs should. Our experiences are what we know most intimately and most emotionally. I can create a story out of thin air, however, if I have lived it, you will feel it in your hear as well if I deliver it properly.
If there is one thing that drives my emotions from the inside, its a well written and well performed song. If it is performed with the voice and an acoustic instrument, then its even better. I can think of so many performers that have made my soul sing just by listening to them deliver the magic of a story set to music. We are here to make our contribution in whatever way that we decide to. It does not matter what you do as long as you deliver it and it touches another person. If what you do causes another human being to go further or to overcome their own neurosis, then I believe you have succeeded in this life. What would our lives sound like without music? I cannot even attempt to imagine it. As I type, I am listening to "Someday My Prince Will Come", played by Miles Davis. Words cannot truly describe how I feel when I listen to Miles. It takes me on a journey, it warms my insides, it moves me. See there. I attempted to describe it, yet I have not even scratched the scratch. Its indescribable. A good friend of mine once told me that the reason I must get my own music out is because at this very moment, someone is waiting to hear it and be inspired, moved, or soothed. It will bring someone, somewhere, to exactly where they need to be. That got my attention completely. Game on.
My fifth day of kundalini was pleasurable and mind altering again. We took on some movements and positions that taxed my body as well as my mind. The mind game is so sinister, because it will tell you that you can't, when the truth is that you can for sure. My arms burned at a few different points and I had to let it go and move forward. The kriya was in part about letting go of resistance from your spirit as well as keeping persistence. As I have now made it through my 5th day in a row, I am proud but in no way comfortable. There are so many places yet to go and so much yet to learn. The teacher today was very open and full of great energy. She was Hispanic and I loved her accent. Her positive energy shot across the room for the entire 90 minutes. We did an exercise today that had us lifting our self up from a seated position with only our fists and holding it there. This was interesting because it was directly related with how we can be strong and stand erect even when times challenge us beyond measure.
I have not gone into this too much yet, however, the entire practice is laced with "the breath of fire". In short, imagine blowing your nose in short sections for about five minutes straight. Just pushing air out continuously and clearing the system of toxins and all things unnecessary. This part of the practice is a huge benefit and a priceless gift. I had a wonderful conversation with the woman that I made reference to in the last blog as well named Rayna. She greeted me by name today and I found out that she is a belly dance teacher and many other style of dance as well. Her kind energy was just perfect to receive after my practice. My body is tingling a bit right now and I will sleep very early tonight to recover and be ready for the 11am class. This is some powerful mind and body altering stuff. I am grateful for the courage that I have mustered up to be here right now on this journey. Be well..