Happiness / Kundalini Day 18
This daily lesson in what is hiding inside of me and how to release it is sure a very interesting one. My teacher today was just brilliant. She is a small woman in size, however, her knowledge and her delivery of the insights and techniques gets my full attention each and every time. She is a giant to me. We began the class with a great deal of breathing and then to a few exercises that involved the arms as well. I am day by day and minute by minute while I am in this room realizing that I am truly stronger than I thought I was. It goes without saying for me that I had a difficult time in class today in a few areas. The good news is that I am not there for perfection, I am there to "practice".
What I love about this session today was that it was all centered around lifting the happiness levels of our souls and inner self. We did two things that really challenged me and pushed me to my limit. I should actually say, I wasn't pushed to my limit, but my mind tried to tell me so. Now imagine this position. You are standing with your feet flat on the floor with your hands stretched as high as you possibly can go. Then you lift up your feet so that you are standing on the balls of your feet. As you stretch up, you take a deep breath and just balance there while you hold your breath. Then you do it all over again, again and again. The teacher told us that this was to test our balance and our steadiness.
Then we did another exercise where we were told to do almost the same thing, but this time we were to bend one knee and place it on top of the opposite knee with the foot and balance there with only the support of the standing leg. She explained that one side may be more balanced than the other and that usually relates directly to our lives being properly balanced in one direction or the other. I was easy on myself during this exercise because it would have been easy to judge myself very harshly. I kept lifting the leg until it set properly on the other one and I did not give up. I was smiling because I was in the process of balancing my life just by being there at that very moment and it felt so good. The kriya was pushing me and making me want to stop and reevaluate myself, however, I kept going.
At another point today we were told to lean back on our sits bones and balance on them while holding our big toes. We were instructed to keep the legs straight and just hand there without moving. Sits bones, or sitting bones, is the common name for the ischial tuberosity, and it’s the lowest of the three major bones that make up the pelvis (in Greek ischion means ”hip”). It’s part of the pelvis that takes our weight when we sit. Now this was challenging for a few different reasons. The thing is that I did get it after about 5 starts and fall backs.Then I did something that I should not have done, I looked to my right and saw the woman next to me doing it almost perfect. It just looked so gorgeous and flawless the way she had executed the movement. She was like a picture in a yoga magazine. I do not know why I looked over at her, she just caught my eye as I was starting up again after falling out. Her form was just impeccable.
As I write this, I realize that what I did is one of the reasons why some people fail while others are successful. My experience in this room is mine and only mine. I am not there to compare myself to any man or woman because it would be impossible anyway. With different backgrounds, different bodies, and most of all different mindsets, I would always be disappointed with any comparison. Envy is not a fruitful emotion. If another inspires me, that is more advantageous for me in the long run.Truthfully, I am always inspired by what happens in this class. I am not one who compares himself to others. I do learn from others though, that is for sure..
Now at the end of class from time to time there is a succession of gongs from this amazing cymbal that is up on the platform where the teacher sits. It usually starts slow and then gets progressively stronger as they softly hit it. The vibration from this cymbal penetrates my body to the core and it is one of the most soothing sensations that I get while I am in this room. So there I was on my back in complete relaxation, I knew that I had made it through yet another class. This was a very tough one today. I say that it was tough, but then again, so is life sometimes right?
Lastly, after class ended, I had a very heartfelt conversation about relationships with Miss Flawless Form herself. I had no idea that this was going to happen, the conversation that is, but it was a great exchange. All I know is that she asked me how i started doing this practice and it took off from there. She said some things that I needed to hear and I was grateful for what she shared. Its just fascinating how we can share ourselves with people who are vibrating at a high level so effortlessly. I felt as though I had gotten long-winded at one point, so I just listened and took in what she had to say. We always get exactly what we want at the right time. I truly believe that with all of my soul. I believe that this woman is probably such a gem to her husband.
What a day it has been in so many ways. I am so thankful for kundalini. It is opening the sun roof of my mental sports car. So moving and so deep...