On The Field Training On How To Be Human
I have not written in over ten days I believe. That is not actually true. I have written every day since my last posting, I just have not written here. It is incredible how much information I have gained through my own life and how I have dealt with it. I am in the midst of "The Artists Way". This is a 12 week journey that basically turns the mirror on you so that you can actually see, feel, and even navigate who you are a little better. During this time, you write morning pages everyday as soon as you wake up as well as take yourself on what's called an "artist date" every week. There are assignments every week and you do them along with the other things to get clarity as well as to shed the excess baggage that we are all carrying around in different forms.
Well this journey does not come without snags. You run into yourself many times and sometimes others even run into you and that is perfect! This means that you are shaving away the unnecessary parts of your mind and gaining clarity. It means that you are moving closer to having less conflicts with others and more importantly less with yourself. I have poured so much of my daily mind residue out into this book that I have especially for the course, that it is now full on day 48 I believe. I have vacuumed out about 6 weeks of stuff that did not want to be held in anymore. I have been challenged along the way in many ways by quite a few people to say the very least. I did not act the way that I might have wanted to in each and every situation, however, I now have more clarity as to why.
Recently, I have picked up the Don Miguel Ruiz book again entitled ,"The Mastery Of Love", and it is now gold to me. When this book speaks of love, It goes all the way in to the bone. I just want to write all of the insights that I gained from this awesome book right here, but that would not be fair to you all. Picking up this book can rock your world. It's just a book, so you will make true what you deem necessary, however, it will get your attention at the very least. The amazing thing is that I had skimmed through it a few years ago and it did not affect me like it did in the past few days. I needed to read it to get myself in check and to excavate a little bit. Now that I read it through from front to back, I have a different view point. Actually, I feel like a better man.
Well. I will give you one thing from the book. I just want to give you this magic tidbit. In a chapter called " The Perfect Relationship", this was written and I found it brilliant:
Heal your half, and you are going to be happy.If you can heal that part of you, then you are going to be ready for a relationship without fear, without need. But remember, you can only heal your half. If you are in a relationship and you work with your half, and your partner works with the other half, you will see how quickly progress is made. Love is what makes you happy, and if you become the servant of love, and your partner becomes the servant of love, you can imagine the possibilities. The day will be wonderful when you can be completely open, only to share, only to serve, only to give your love.
This passage spoke to me because I realized that we are all triggers for other human beings. We don't get angry because of what people do, we get angry because we are harboring our own struggles and they get triggered. Think about the last time you lost it with someone. Did that person actually force you to become the person that you became in 5 minutes? They most certainly did not. The other thing is that when we walk or run away from a confrontation, we allow the other person the power to assume whats going on in our head. Kind of like letting someone else order for you at a restaurant that doesn't know what you like to eat. You get what they choose and you cannot send it back.
Smoke triggers house alarms,. Bells trigger dogs salivate. The tea kettle triggers us to come and get the pot. The sound at a cross walk triggers a blind person to walk. Footsteps trigger a deer to run. The point that I am making here is that those things are all for an outcome that is favorable for the parties concerned for the most part. However, when we let someone trigger our internal judgement, we still have some work to do. I learned that lesson a week ago and now it is the clearest that it has ever been. Some lessons need to be learned over and over again. We create our reactions each and every time. Looking back, there are a few of those times that I would do differently and I will start again right now.
In closing, just take stock of how you are showing up for others. How do you greet them? Are you judging them right away? Are you married to your own story way before they can let you know who they are? Most importantly, are you asking for something from another person that you are not doing for yourself? Sometimes the right statement, or book, or person comes along just when it counts. Actually, I believe everything happens when its supposed to, we just don't always recognize it.
Here is a link to this magic book.
The Mastery Of Love