Lollipops Disguised As Cacti

Yes indeed, we are instantly being taught lessons about we interact with others each and every day. We all have relationships that weave to work on in one way or another. The question is, are we willing to feel the burn in the interim? The lessons that keep coming up over and over again are the ones that we should pay attention to. The down side though, is that they are also the ones that we run from time and time again. I had a conversation that lasted over an hour with a close friend that I treasure immensely. During that conversation, my friend told me that I continually do not follow up with her when I say that I am going to when it comes to meeting in a social way.I did not like this comment because I practice a high level of integrity in this area and because I had reached out to them several times in the past week with no response as well. I saw it as the pot calling the kettle black immediately. Then I stopped and thought about it for a few moments in my own head and I realized that I was doing this to them specifically because there had been a time when they reacted out of sorts based on me having to cancel a prior appointment at the last second. My mind was apprehensive to make any plans with them so as not to ruffle their feathers. Therefore, when they asked me to tell them when I was free,I did not commit to anything on the spot. Instead, I told them that I would get back to them, and I never did. This situation created a pattern and I repeated it more than a few times. I had to come to the realization that I was blocking myself to be safe, yet I was not safe at all, I was not facing the block. When two people are friends, they get to know each other and unfortunately their are some expectations that grow over time. These just happen organically and then they become deeply rooted it he relationship. For example, you have a wealthy friend that always pays for dinner whenever you go out. Then one day you meet up with them and have a great meal and the say let's go half and half on this. The problem is, you left your money at home because you were not expecting to pay. My point here is that I never expected my friend to call me out on this behavior, yet she did and then I reacted in a way that exposed my non responsibility towards the situation. When we speak and give our word or our promise or anything along those lines, we have to own it. If we get called out on it, we have to just take the hit and make a better go at it next time. This is a person that I respect and also a person that continually demands a high level of accountability from those around them. The lessons that grow out of our many conversations are difficult to swallow at times because they arrive by way of language that cuts a little deep into my own paradigms. I always have to remembers that each and every person is showing up based on where they have just been in their world. This means that we won't always like it and we may even reject it. The magic is that there are rich lessons underneath that become obvious once we release our ego card. This person and I will not have this issue anymore because I have just decided to change it right now. Sometimes that is all it takes. Actually, I believe that most of the times that's all it takes. We just rationalize ourselves out of thinking otherwise. If you don't want to see someone or plan something with them, just tell them no,and after a while they will get the picture. If you have a riff to clean up with them, do it and get it over with. The free time that it will afford you will cleanse you just as the time you hold on to it, avoid it, and mask it will strip you of your fluidity with them. May the day provide you with ridiculous amounts of fluidity as you make those calls and have those conversations.... Chase


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