The Gift Of Our Mental Hard Drive

  We have all come from somewhere. It does not matter if we came the short or long way, the quick or fast way, the lost or found way, we are here. Today I started off the day with a phone call that included a family member and a woman that I have not seen in at least 10 years, or so it seems. When we were all living together during that time, our life was very large together. We ate and went to concerts and parks and laughed uncontrollably on a daily basis. We could not have been any different during that time, yet we had a true common thread that lit us up whenever we engaged each other. In many ways, this relationship was some of my best and most treasured lessons on having a truly fulfilling relationship without too much drama. There was some drama, however, I even learned tons from that and it helped me along the way.

   This call took place from 3 different cities at the same time. Our geography would have formed a diamond if we drew it on a map.We were on a three way conference that was formed when one of the three called as two of us were speaking already. During the call, many times that we had together had flashed before me in rapid fashion and it was actually extremely moving. I believe that when we fall out of touch with someone that there is a reason. Having a busy life can only be an excuse but for so long. So why have we kept in touch all of this time? In short, it is my opinion that when you are affected by another human being, it's non negotiable. Their influence on you sticks until you leave this earth. It can be someone that you love or despise. Actually, those that gave me trouble in the past taught me just as much as those who have loved me.  Today I am a different person in spite of them and it feels incredible.

    Looking back, I realize that had I taken a different path and chosen not to have had certain experiences, my life would have been different. I would not have known how different because I did not choose those paths. Our hard drives are truly magnificent organs that remember it all if we just get quiet and truly engage in them. Truth be told, my hard drive pushes things out at me almost daily and it helps me tremendously. I get this tingle whenever I see someone that I know or that I have come into contact with prior to that moment. Have you ever had an entire conversation with someone that you know that you have spoken to before, yet cannot remember their name for the life of you? That happened to me yesterday. I got through it though, he said his name in the end.

    I am so grateful for where I have been. There are so many things that have happened and so many things that have developed my character and my integrity as well as my hunger to connect with others each and every day. Sometimes I watch young children as they are coming home from school or at the mall with friends, and I remember exactly what I was like at their age. Although I still feel young way younger than my age, it was different then. I did not know how to navigate the twists and turns or to actually discipline my disappointments
in life. If there was a problem, I did not have that many solutions. If there was an uncomfortable situation that came up, I generally asked an adult or did nothing. However, now that I have a many years of information from situations stored up, the possibilities are endless and I do not have to settle for less than what I need to be in a place of calm as it relates to others. What a freedom to have...

    In closing, the important thing to know is that we are not our past. Our past is just a blueprint that we now have the power to rearrange, rework, revamp, or revitalize. We now have more choices, more wisdom, more examples and more life teachings to guide us along. I cannot imagine who I would be right now if I did not have these 3 strong parents that I have who showed me the real way without covering up the bad side. What would I have been if I had not traveled to over 100 European, South American, Asian, and Caribbean cities before I was 25? What would I have been if I was not told "no" by a very powerful entertainment agent who actually wound up asking to work with me a few years later? I would not be here, that is for sure. I saw into my mental hard drive today and I was happy with its contents. Take a look back into yours and be grateful no matter what you see.



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